Category Archives: Humor

Syrian Crisis Explained (!)

From WhatsApp

If in case it was all too confusing for you, here’s a summary:

President Assad (who is bad) is a nasty guy who got so nasty his people rebelled and the Rebels (who are good) started winning (hurrah!).

But then some of the rebels turned a bit nasty and are now called Islamic State (who are definitely bad!) while some continued to support democracy (who are still good.)

So the Americans (who are good ) started bombing Islamic State (who are bad ) and giving arms to the Syrian Rebels (who are good ) so they could fight Assad (who is still bad) which was good.

There is a breakaway state in the north run by the Kurds who want to fight IS (which is good) but the Turkish authorities think they are bad, so the U.S. says they are bad while secretly thinking they’re good and giving them guns to fight IS (which is good) but that is another matter.

Getting back to Syria.

So President Putin (who is bad because he invaded Crimea and the Ukraine and killed lots of folks, including that nice Russian man in London with polonium poisoned sushi, has decided to back Assad (who is still bad) by attacking IS (who are also bad ) which is sort of a good thing (!?).

But Putin (still bad) thinks the Syrian Rebels (who are good) are also bad, and so he bombs them too, much to the annoyance of the Americans (who are good) who are busy backing and arming the rebels (who are also good).

Now Iran (who used to be bad, but now they have agreed not to build any nuclear weapons with which to bomb Israel are now good) are going to provide ground troops to support Assad (still bad) as are the Russians (bad) who now have ground troops and aircraft in Syria.

So a Coalition of Assad (still bad) Putin (extra bad) and the Iranians (good, but in a bad sort of way) are going to attack IS (who are bad which is good, but also the Syrian Rebels (who are good) which is bad.

Now the British (obviously good, except that silly anti-Semite who leads the Labor Party, Mr. Corbyn in the corduroy jacket, who is bad) and the Americans (also good) cannot attack Assad (still bad) for fear of upsetting Putin (bad) and Iran (good/bad) and now they have to accept that Assad might not be that bad after all compared to IS (super bad — see Paris, November 2015).

So Assad (bad) is now probably good, being better than IS and, because Putin and Iran are also fighting IS, that may now make them good. America (still good) will find it hard to arm a group of rebels being attacked by the Russians for fear of upsetting Mr. Putin (now good) and that nice mad Ayatollah in Iran (also good?) and so they may be forced to say that the Rebels are now bad, or at the very least abandon them to their fate. This will lead most of them to flee to Turkey and on to Europe or join IS (still the only consistently bad).

To Sunni Muslims an attack by Shia Muslims (Assad and Iran) backed by Russians will be seen as something of a Holy War. Therefore, the ranks of IS will now be seen by the Sunnis as the only Jihadis fighting in the Holy War and hence many Muslims will now see IS as good (duh).

Sunni Muslims will also see the lack of action by Britain and America in support of their Sunni rebel brothers as something of a betrayal (might have a point?) and hence we will be seen as bad.

So now we have America (now bad) and Britain (also bad) providing limited support to Sunni Rebels (bad ) many of whom are looking to IS (good/bad ) for support against Assad (now good) who, along with Iran (also good) and Putin (now, straining credulity, good ) are attempting to retake the country Assad used to run before all this started.

Got it?

Jay Ho, Anaamat!

Location: Amdavad railway station

A well dressed passenger with VIP suitcases and family in tow, children happily chatting away in Convent corrupted English enters the coach and finds to his horror that their seats are occupied by not so upper class, ordinary mortal. They refuse to vacate the seats, so the the TTE is summoned.

Gentleman: We had come to Amdavad to participate in Patidar Anaamat Andolan. These are my reserved seats. here are the tickets (shows his iPhone 6+ to the TTE.)

TTE asks the family occupying the seats for tickets. He pulls out a crumpled set of tickets from his pocket but no reservation is mentioned on it.

TTE to gentleman: I cannot ask them to vacate the seats.

Gentleman: But I have reservation!

TTE: Only this morning, government of Bharat convinced about the absurdity of reservations, has decided to do away with reservations and quota in every sphere of life- education, housing, food subsidy, jobs, cinema halls, railway trains, etc. Sorry.

TTE walks away.

Passengers on the platform: Jay Ho, Anaamat!

The Unreal Times: Uttar Pradesh to be renamed “Gujarat” so that coverage of Gujarat riots can continue unabated

http://www.theunrealtimes.com/2013/09/10/uttar-pradesh-to-be-renamed-gujarat-so-that-coverage-of-gujarat-riots-can-continue-unabated/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheUnrealTimes+%28The+UnReal+Times%29

Image

Fresh from launching the proposal to carve a new Telangana state, the UPA government has decided to rename Uttar Pradesh as Gujarat, so that the media can continue to do stellar job of saturation coverage about the Gujarat riots for many more decades to come.

“Things were going awesome so far, what with riots being nearly synonymous with Gujarat 2002,” explained an UPA leader on condition of anonymity,”but over the past few months, this useless Akhilesh has poured water over our hard work with his administrative incompetence. The chap seems to be in no mood to stop the religious divide in his state. Whenever a riot happens, the media does an awesome job by comparing it to 2002, but how long can that go? That’s why we decided on renaming Uttar Pradesh as Gujarat so that the weekly and monthly communal clashes that happen over there can all be considered under Gujarat riots and there can be many more blows to the divisive Modi. Akhilesh can still be the dynamic, charismatic, skull-cap sporting, paragon of secularism.”

Minutes after the decision, news channels were abuzz with headlines about riots in the new Gujarat, with star anchors bending over backwards to do some kick-ass live reporting. Congress president Sonia Gandhi, who had earlier called Modi “maut ka saudagar,” has apparently been thinking of calling him “maut ka udhyogpati”, taking into account all the communal clashes in the new Gujarat.

Meanwhile, the BJP went hammer and tongs at the move, with spokespersons Meenakshi Lekhi and Smriti Irani going ballistic in television debates. Soon, however, a consensus was reached after a meeting of Sonia Gandhi, PM Manmohan Singh and senior Congress BJP leaders like Sushma Swaraj and LK Advani.

RIP Congress- Let us work hard to make this a reality

 

Cartoon- Mamata and the PM

Indian Democracy Dead- Funeral

Courtesy: Kiran Kumar S. (@KiranKS- on Twitter)

A still from Youtube video : Funeral of Indian Democracy, by UPA!

A still from Youtube video : Funeral of Indian Democracy, by UPA!

If Jan Lokpal Bill becomes law… This is what would happen. (In cartoons)

I could not help sharing this with you. It may not be politically correct, but it expresses people’s angst about corruption and Congress.
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Description: http://photos.cc.fbcdn.net/hphotos-cc-snc7/317290_2324787236505_1154344021_32766648_4743607_n.jpg

Description: http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/306271_228711237175178_100001089101265_619774_5963131_n.jpg

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